Sunday, November 27, 2011

Almost a whole month already?

I didn't mean to take three weeks away from my blog, but things haven't been going as smoothly as I hoped. Nothing is wrong with me or the baby physically. Mommy is just having a hard time adjusting to all this brand new mommy stuff. I don't like to complain about it because people just come back at you with "well, when I was pregnant, I did/gained such and such". I'm sure they're trying to be helpful, but at this point I'm just ready to start the next phase. It's hard to think sometimes that these raging kicks I feel in my stomach are from a tiny girl I'll be holding in about three months. Even though I'm getting excited, I'm still deathly afraid of having to be her mother.

Weight is one thing that is a major issue for me. I realize everyone wants to punch me in the face when I complain about how big I've gotten, but it's just one of those things that is going to be difficult to me. Jumping about 10 pounds at my last two doctor visits wasn't really encouraging like I guess it should have been. I've never passed 100 pounds in my life, so it's hard to look at the scale and see these big numbers and feel the pressure to lose it after Zooey finally comes. I don't like having to pack away clothes and eat with my jeans unbuttoned or have to change into sweat pants to be comfortable. I miss my flat stomach and cute clothes and 90 pounds. I miss not having to wear maternity tops that make me look like a puffed up balloon. I literally had a major breakdown before we went out with some friends Wednesday night because I wanted to wear a tee shirt (it was a little too tight) and Daniel wanted me to wear a maternity top instead. I'm sure it had a lot to do with my hormones being off kilter but some of it was just me wanting to me normal around normal people. (Of course, when you're pregnant and in a bar, nothing is normal.)

I'm also dealing with extreme amounts of guilt. I'm sure most of you realize the announcement of our little girl was very much a shock. We had plans. We were planning our move to Asheville where Daniel would go to school and pursue his major while I worked to support us for a while. Only after school (and lots of travelling) would we think about kids. So mommy-dom wasn't a looming thing; it was 5 or so years down the road. We planned originally to get married next year, but we had to push things up and tie the knot this October with minimal planning and a very minimal guest list. I feel like it's my fault that Daniel can't go out and do what he wants anymore, that he's stuck here with his big pregnant wife while his friends are taking trips and going out to bars and generally enjoying their 20s. This probably sounds ridiculous to 95% of you, but maybe there are a few out there that have felt the same.

It just gets hard to act excited when your emotions are being all crazy on the other end of the scale.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Daniel and I finally tackled the daunting task of completing our baby registry! From start to finish it was an ordeal. Maybe it was our mistake for going the night of a midnight CoD release, but when we walked up to the appropriate counter there wasn't a sales associate around for several departments. There was no way to call one to the desk either. We basically had to scour the entire store to find some help. ...Then wait another 20 minutes for them to make their way over. No one seemed to know what to do! It seemed like everything was totally chaotic! I was uncharacteristically patient that night, though, so I just smiled while they sorted through our papers and handed us THE scanner! I didn't even have to fight for it- Daniel didn't want it for some odd reason. We scanned everything- from blankets to hangers, breast pumps (ewwwww) to teethers, monitors to high chairs. It was difficult for us to choose what did and didn't belong on our registry- too expensive, too obvious? But after about 40 minutes we felt like we had all our bases covered. We returned the scanner, gathered our freebie bag, and came home for a relaxing evening of snuggles. :)

Oh, and if you're interested in checking out our registry, here it is: Babies"R"Us - Baby Registry

Otherwise, nothing fun has really happened (but it's only Tuesday). Still looking for a car. Wanting to sell the Miata so Daniel won't have to part with his truck. It's in much better condition and you always need a truck more than a sports car! Also still looking into the 3D ultrasound thing. I'm really in it for the heartbeat teddy bear. Just have to keep saving!

Wondering what baby is looking like this week? Mama sure doesn't want anyone to see how big she's gotten! :(

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I've Gotten Lazy

To be perfectly honest, I've been too tired to post much of anything lately. On top of that, I've started getting sick again. Seems like I'm finding all the things baby girl doesn't want me to eat. Anywho.

I just passed the 21 week mark, and not much has changed. I can feel her kicking a lot more often and she's starting to get into a pattern of movement as far as time goes. Her "play time" is mostly at night or when mommy feels her worst, of course. She starts moving around 9 pm, then picks up the pace around 10. Luckily she behaved herself this weekend though and gave her daddy a little treat before he had to leave for his drill weekend. I'd been up sick practically all night and Daniel (aka Hubby) had to get up at 4 am to leave for Columbia. I was getting back to sleep about the time he was getting up to get ready. It might have been around 5 when he came in to tell us bye. As soon as he put his hand on my stomach, she gave him a big ol' kick (or high five). It was probably a coincidence but it was still really sweet to see him smile at her little nudges.

Later I went shopping with his mom for some baby stuff at a consignment sale. We really racked up! It was extra awesome because we got almost everything for 50-75% off (last day of the sale). We got tons more clothes, just like we said we wouldn't, a swing, a jumper thing, a car seat, and a mobile. Then we moseyed on to Babies'R'Us and she surprised me with a beautiful crib AND the mattress! We also picked up a Classic Pooh baby book and a Pooh pillow pet. All in a all a very successful day, despite feeling like the gum on the bottom of someone's shoe.